post workout

After a intense workout, looking like a sweaty, hot mess, my body aching...what is a better inspirational time to write than now? This is a perfect time for me to reflect my thoughts and let everything out. I have been writing in my journal a lot more frequently than on here but I sat here thinking, people cannot read my journal and take advice and inspiration from it! So here I am, back in action. I have been so caught up in actually LIVING my life that writing on the internet took a back burner. But I have been writing frequently. But no stress, I am back.

So I stumbled upon a workout website called bodyrock.tv. These are workouts posted every day that only use body weight and some equipment you can buy online. Although, she gives alternative exercises to the ones she uses with equipment for the people who do not want to purchase the weights, which is great. The woman doing the workouts is about as intense as you could get as a female. This always inspires and intimidates me; though I am not intimidated easily at all. Her name is Lisa and within a few hours of reading and watching her workouts, I became inspired. People who take the time out of their day to post inspirational and motivational words, place workouts on the web for the results we all want FOR FREE and to be so motivated in her own health and fitness, is something I would like to see more of in the world. But anyway, I looked at her workouts last night and earlier today, and to say the least, I was quite intrigued. It looked hard and I will admit, I did not think I could do it.

So I got down in my basement and started putting together homemade strength equipment because obviously, I do not own a gym nor do I own weights. So substituting her sand bag, I packed a duffle-bag with towels and newspapers for weight; this worked perfectly. I also used my mom's old motorcycle helmet in use of something to swing between my legs like a kettle bell weight. Before becoming crafty with my substitutions, I really thought I was going to have to do everything in Lisa's alternative workouts; but I did not want to have to do that. So no matter what you may have and do not have, you can always find things around the house to substitute, believe me.

So, back to my workout. It is 50 seconds on, 10 seconds off, four exercises, three times each. Now this does not sound too bad does it? Have you ever done one thing for 50 seconds continuously? I bet not. Let me tell you something, it is hard as hell. From not working out at school for a few months now, my arm strength is minimal, and it definitely showed today. I got through half of the workout and I am not ashamed to admit that. I pushed myself harder than I have in a long time, and I am proud to say I did that. I took the initiative to come down to my basement at 8 p.m. and workout when I could have been enjoying a movie; I am also proud to say I did that. I have motivational issues; I can freely admit. I am good at giving others advice, but poorly at taking my own. But tonight I proved myself wrong. I DID do the workout, whether I did half or not, I still DID IT. I DID NOT back down from the challenge and I did my very best. I am proud of myself tonight.

I want everyone to know that it is never all right to discourage yourself; I also suffer from this problem. It is one of my many flaws, but I can honestly say that I am doing great with it and I have come a long way. It is never okay to finally motivate yourself to do something, then feel mad at yourself for not making it last long enough or complete everything you were supposed to. If your body only allows you 20 minutes a day of working out, that is more than you did yesterday, so be proud of yourself. You do not need to work out 3 hours a day to feel satisfied; quality over quantity every time. I just did a 6 minute and some odd second workout and I felt like I ran for over an hour. THAT is something to be proud of and something worth doing. If this gets me the body I want, I will be glad to bust my legs, back, abs, arms and back every day for 12 minutes until I get it. Never discourage or put yourself down for something you cannot really control. Let your body tell you what it needs and how much it can take, not your self esteem or poor vision of yourself.

Be strong, be bold.


And another thing, strive to do your best. Go into your task saying you are going to do the very most you can and that you are going to push yourself. Never slug on by thinking you will still get the best out of everything, because you will not.

soak it in

As I sit at the kitchen table, decorating the mug I bought for my mom at Starbucks that you can write on and bake, at almost 1 a.m. in the morning, many things are going through my mind.

I am so happy to see my boyfriend succeeding in every little thing he does. He makes me so proud every single day and he always pushes me to succeed and be the best that I can be also. He is such an inspiration to me and I love him very much.

Another thing is, today, technically, is Mother's Day. This is a great holiday in my eyes because not only should moms be appreciated every day, but they are sometimes overlooked. Mother's Day makes everyone really look at their moms or remember their moms and appreciate what they have/had. I know that I should thank my mom every day and I know I have been a lot nicer and more appreciative of the things she does for me as I get older. My mom is my hero. She has had nothing and still made things work and never seemed worried. I have seen her in bad times and good times, but she always remains strong and always figures it out. She is also an inspiration to me, in my life, because of my goals and dreams that I have. My mom is my biggest fan, no doubt about that, and I love that about her. I am so grateful to have someone's support 24/7. There is a new commercial on television that I just recently saw and the quote was "It is the hardest job in the world and the best job in the world." No doubt is being a mom the hardest job. I see it with my sister, the parents of the children I baby sit and with my own mom; but it is worth it to them, and that's what makes them great mother's. So happy Mother's day mom! You are seriously, the best.

So other than that, it's summer time! Finally. This summer, for work, I am surrounded by kids. I spend time with my nephews, obviously, but I have two other jobs. I baby sit a 3-year-old girl and a 19-month-old boy on Wednesday evenings and a 2 years, 8-month-old special needs boy four days a week. It is a lot to handle, but I am feeling great about it. Colton is a special needs child and requires a lot of attention and time. At first, I doubted myself. But I have only spent two days with him and all ready want to help him learn and do more for himself. I feel so sorry for him and his family, but the conditions he has he cannot help, so he must learn to deal with them. I want to help Colton as much as I can and try to teach him things. It is a great experience to work with such a wonderful boy, who although has troubles, has a great heart and can still live a good life. I do not want his life to be wasted or overlooked just because he has special needs. He is a person too and after working with someone of special needs, you really begin to realize this more than you did before. It is a great feeling.

This summer is going to be a learning experience for me in every way. Working with children, interning at the local newspaper and really finding who I am and where I want to go in life is what I will be working on. I am learning to let a lot of things go and not stressing out too easily. I am learning that most people are not worth fighting for and if they are, you'll know it. I am learning that eating healthy and as much as I need, instead of over-eating, is not as hard as it seems; you just must be determined.

You can never learn too much and I intend on learning everything I can this summer to better myself for the years to come. Not only do I have the best support system and a mind that is getting stronger and better every day, but I have the best life coach there is for me and he will never let me fail. He pushes me to be something better every day and I do not know where I would be without him.

As a lesson learned to all of you, try everything, experience things you are afraid of failing at and do not worry so often, you will benefit from it all.

Be strong, be bold.

never grow up

I'm moving out of the dorm tomorrow at 3 p.m. My sophomore year in college will be over then, and I am not sad. I know that the best things that are going to happen in my life are yet to come. I have had great opportunities and I have learned a lot this year, but I am just happy that it is all going to continue.

Growing up can be scary, but I think it is really exhilarating also. I may not be ready for the challenges my life has in store for me, but I am ready to fight through them and be around the people that have proven to me that they love me for me. The hardest part of growing up is this:

- finding out who you are
- finding real friends who will not leave you
- having real priorities. 


Making friends is easy. Anyone can hang out with anyone and have someone to talk to daily. But I am picky when it comes to friends because I have been hurt, left behind, betrayed and disappointed too many times to count over the past years. Those who I have thought were my best friends ended up as people I do not want to be around. I sat here earlier today looking at pictures and becoming sad about what I have lost, but then I realized, I have not lost anything, they have. I will do whatever it takes to make my friends happy. I love my friends more than anything and if they cannot repay that, then they are not worth it to me.

You meet people at every stage of your life, but it all depends on how you handle them at that time. I am becoming the strongest I have ever been, so I have no tolerance for immaturity, lies, cattiness and negativity. I want people in my life who enjoy life, love to sing and dance and sit and life talk for hours. Friends that will be there for me no matter what, because I will always be there for them. But finding perfect friends like that, is a challenge that maybe I was not ready for.

That, to me, is the hardest part about growing up.


So I should not be upset about losing people in my life because I always gain. I have met wonderful guys here that cherish time with Greg and I and I appreciate every one of them. And I have met great girls that I know I can count on. My best friends from home would not leave me for anything, and that's what means a lot to me, the dedication.

Sometimes, learning from mistakes is for the best. But it would be a little easier if people were nicer and more genuine. I do not know who raised these people, but my mom never raised me to act like that and to be a bad friend. Because let's face it, when it comes down to it, we all need a good friend. And for those of you who lie and get bored and drop friends, you will need a good friend one day too, remember that.

I am blessed to have my boyfriend as my best friend.

Growing up is hard. The challenge is there to take, or to ignore. I just hope you think about this the next time you are bored with someone or decide the person is not "good enough" for you. That one day, you are going to need someone strong by your side to help you. But it will not be me.