This summer is coming to an end, quicker than I imagined it would. It is always a bittersweet ending; starting a new year of college and leaving behind yet another great summer. But this summer has been much different from all of the others in many ways. I have had a lot of time to sit and think about myself, my future, my present and my past and I have come to realize a lot about myself.
During my weeks and weeks of no summer work and no money to do anything, I became very self reliant. I have come to grips with the concept of caring for others so much, all the time, is quite painful and disappointing. I have learned more about my weaknesses and strengths than ever before and I am so happy for that. I found a fitness plan that really worked for me, and even though I didn't have the money to continue that plan, it made me so much stronger through my self-confidence and my confidence in accomplishing goals.
But mainly this summer, next to my new found motivation to be slim, I found something within myself that I thought I lost awhile ago. I have made some pretty bad choices growing up, some that I would change in a heart beat, but I've also done things and missed out on things I wish I could go back to. As I sat around this summer, pondering about my life, I realized I didn't feel like I was really living it. I have friends, a boyfriend and a great family. I do fun things, I go out, I laugh constantly and I smile. But up until recently, letting go of past things and relaxing about things that I cannot alter or fix anymore, has been a serious problem for me. I have always been an over-reactor, an over-thinker, a worrier and a head case. And although I still am a head case (which is why I blog) I am finally finding my way to freedom within myself.
Some things don't work out the way you want them to, fact.
You cannot change the past, so moving on is your only option, fact.
Worrying about things that do not matter will only give you premature wrinkles, fact.
Being free of all negative thoughts, people and situations will allow you to be happier, fact.
These are some things I've had to deal with and have finally figured out in my mind.
"Be Free" is a tattoo idea that I have been playing around with these last few weeks. I have always wanted a tattoo, so why not? I'm going to get one. I don't care if "everyone has one." I want something inspiring, to me, to show everyone.
And this phrase has been what I have been living by for around two weeks now. Be free of all the drama and negative tension between people and things. Be free of self-absorbing problems you find within yourself. Be free of the lack of confidence you hide within yourself and secretly worry about constantly. Be free of fear of the future and the fear of not being good enough, even to yourself. Be free of the grief and bitterness that is passing through your body from the past; it actually takes more energy to hold on. "Be Free" is what I am living by from now on. Do crazy things (to a point), laugh constantly and never let anyone tell you you're doing something in the wrong way or that you're living wrong. There is no "right way" to live; you just do it. So breathe in happiness and freedom and exhale negativity and old ways.
Be Free and start the life you always dreamed of living.
Be strong, be bold.
