This summer is coming to an end, quicker than I imagined it would. It is always a bittersweet ending; starting a new year of college and leaving behind yet another great summer. But this summer has been much different from all of the others in many ways. I have had a lot of time to sit and think about myself, my future, my present and my past and I have come to realize a lot about myself.
During my weeks and weeks of no summer work and no money to do anything, I became very self reliant. I have come to grips with the concept of caring for others so much, all the time, is quite painful and disappointing. I have learned more about my weaknesses and strengths than ever before and I am so happy for that. I found a fitness plan that really worked for me, and even though I didn't have the money to continue that plan, it made me so much stronger through my self-confidence and my confidence in accomplishing goals.
But mainly this summer, next to my new found motivation to be slim, I found something within myself that I thought I lost awhile ago. I have made some pretty bad choices growing up, some that I would change in a heart beat, but I've also done things and missed out on things I wish I could go back to. As I sat around this summer, pondering about my life, I realized I didn't feel like I was really living it. I have friends, a boyfriend and a great family. I do fun things, I go out, I laugh constantly and I smile. But up until recently, letting go of past things and relaxing about things that I cannot alter or fix anymore, has been a serious problem for me. I have always been an over-reactor, an over-thinker, a worrier and a head case. And although I still am a head case (which is why I blog) I am finally finding my way to freedom within myself.
Some things don't work out the way you want them to, fact.
You cannot change the past, so moving on is your only option, fact.
Worrying about things that do not matter will only give you premature wrinkles, fact.
Being free of all negative thoughts, people and situations will allow you to be happier, fact.
These are some things I've had to deal with and have finally figured out in my mind.
"Be Free" is a tattoo idea that I have been playing around with these last few weeks. I have always wanted a tattoo, so why not? I'm going to get one. I don't care if "everyone has one." I want something inspiring, to me, to show everyone.
And this phrase has been what I have been living by for around two weeks now. Be free of all the drama and negative tension between people and things. Be free of self-absorbing problems you find within yourself. Be free of the lack of confidence you hide within yourself and secretly worry about constantly. Be free of fear of the future and the fear of not being good enough, even to yourself. Be free of the grief and bitterness that is passing through your body from the past; it actually takes more energy to hold on. "Be Free" is what I am living by from now on. Do crazy things (to a point), laugh constantly and never let anyone tell you you're doing something in the wrong way or that you're living wrong. There is no "right way" to live; you just do it. So breathe in happiness and freedom and exhale negativity and old ways.
Be Free and start the life you always dreamed of living.
Be strong, be bold.
I honestly feel like you are speaking directly to me whenever I read your blog posts.
ReplyDeleteI've had an incredibly difficult summer (a difficult year, to be completely accurate) and I seriously feel like I've had to grow up more in these past 12 months than I have in the past 24 years. Things have been absolutely out of control and there are times when I just want to sit in a corner and cry.
As you mentioned, however, it is SO important to stay "free" from all of the negativity that comes our way. If we don't, how can things get better?
I've always been an optimist, but I have to admit these past several months have turned me away from my usual positive thinking. It wasn't until I stepped back and realized how much worse things had become once I fell into the "woe is me" frame of mind.
Thank you so much for this post. You are a great writer and I am continually happy to know that I stumbled across your blog! :-)
Hang in there and know that things will get better. You're going to school to give yourself a brighter future and, someday, you're going to look back on this summer as one of those moments that really helped turn you into the successful person you will inevitably become.
as one of those times***
DeleteThank you so much!
DeleteIt took me a very long time to enter the positive light of things in my life, but once I did, everything turned around.
You can't imagine how many little things will change and get better by you just feeling happy and confident with yourself and your decisions.
New chapters are opened everyday and my new one opened yesterday when I ended a 2 year and some months relationship. You have to make YOURSELF happy before anyone else.
Thank you so much for commenting, and keep reading!
Good luck with everything
That's really a great post. My last blog entry is about love and freedom. In my mind, these are the most important things in our life. We need to be free. No one should be judged for who she is, how she lives, and what or who she loves and likes. We are all special in our own way.
ReplyDeleteI am also sometimes thinking way too much about things, before I do them. But I once read a quote which was like 'you only regret the things you don't do', and since then I try to do what feels right to do, as soon as possible. Sometimes you get a chance only once, and when you think too much about something, it could be already too late. If you feel you need that tattoo, you should do it. It's a part of you, a part of your life, after you figured out your own truth about life.
It's not that easy to just do something, and so I still find myself thinking about the same thing over and over again. But it's my life I am living, and not anybody else's. So I am who I am, and the people who don't like me aren't worth it to be part of my life.
Mistakes let us grow and make us smarter to not do it again, try to focus more on the bright sides of life, enjoy what you have instead of thinking what you don't have. Appreciate your life, the good and nice people you met, your family and friends.
Be free to be yourself!
I agree 100% with this! You need to be free to make your own choices and mistakes because if you don't, you're going to miss out on so much.
DeleteI just ended a relationship that I felt wasn't letting me be free and express myself...sometimes things like that have to happen to move on.
I am happy, confident and strong, three things 1 year ago, I would have never been able to write. This "be free" phrase has shown me a lot about myself.
Always be you, because it's the best option.