and true, the visions hazy

Coming out of the best weekend I have had with friends in awhile, today has been a pretty good Monday also! Even though I could not get out of bed this morning, it has been productive and an all around happy day!

I am really realizing how happy I am with the direction my life is going in. I am becoming less tolerant of things, which I find great, because that means I deal with less things that I do not want to be dealing with! I am letting go and seeing life through the eyes of someone who is strong and happy; instead of someone who is upset with herself all day long and who does not know what she is living for. Finding out what I want, even though it is happening slowly, is a great feeling.

I know that the newspaper is where I am supposed to be. I love working for it, writing and editing. The people on The Slate staff are so helpful, encouraging and just great to be around. We went to D.C. this past Saturday to see the Newseum and it was just filled with laughs and good times, even though we all sat down to have a good cry over the 9/11 exhibit haha. Things with the paper are going so well and I hope to continue with it for as long as I am here at Ship. Tomorrow my application is due for the Opinion Editor position (I am the asst. now) so, wish me luck on getting the bump up! I really love what I do and I hope one day I get a successful job that I enjoy this much. Because, as Greg taught me, it is all about loving what you do, every day. Loving your career is what is most important to a happy and prosperous life. And I enjoy every second of writing and being apart of a news team.

So other than my major choice and career plan (kinda), things are just going great. I am keeping up with eating well, going to the gym and feeling better about myself also. I am keeping my head up and enjoying my time in college, but remaining myself in the process. I feel as though a lot of people lose sense of who they are once around different people and different atmospheres. But I know who I am and who I want to grow to be and I will never let anyone get in the way of that. My friends and family back home and my friends whom I have here at Ship are helping me every step of the way, supporting me and believing in what I can do. All of that is so appreciated. I would not make it through without all of them.

As I have time to sit and think, by myself for once, I realize more and more that things happen to help you get through harder things in life. You learn so much from what you have been through and every day that you experience more things. You can never know enough and you can never lose room to grow. My personality, tolerance levels, character and mind are growing every day and experiencing new things all the time. All the things that have brought me down earlier in life, have only brought me farther up today. Up until recently I have regretted so much that I have done. All the bad choices I have made, people I have hurt in the past and the ill feelings I have felt for others. But I will not regret anymore. Because I have learned that holding onto regrets is still holding on to those awful feelings and memories that need to be let go, so I can grow and move on.

So, consider them let go.
I am going to live for me. To impress myself, make my family proud and be the best friend that I possibly can. Growing up a very unselfish and caring person does wonders for someone, and I have my parents to thank for that. They molded my character into someone that I can honestly say I am proud of. I stick up for myself, back down from nothing and walk with my head up. Each day I get stronger and I have many to thank for that...including myself. I am stronger and a better person than I give myself credit for, but I finally understand.


Thank you to everyone.

Be strong, be bold.